NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN

I shut the car door and the taxi made its way through the summer evening traffic that pathed the city centre.  I turned to Claire who was grinning at me.  “So he never told you?”“Nope! Not a word the rascal!”“Well don’t worry”, she laughed “it’s party night!!”There were taxi’s pulling up with several well dressed Ladies getting out on to the foot path and walking to the ‘Kingfishers’ doors. It was a very popular venue amongst the younger adults and one of the best wine bars in town.  Occasionally they put on nights like this though I hadn’t been since I was a single woman of 21, ten years ago. On the posters outside the women caught a glimpse of what was in stall!!  A bevy of handsome young men wearing an assortment of delightful uniforms to capture every gal’s fantasy.“Yummy!” I said to myself thinking it was under my breath as I alighted our car and gazed at the photos outside.  But she did hear me and she put her arm around me and kidded “You’re in the mood tonight then!”

“Oh yes!” I smiled back.There was a huge aroma of perfume and the sound of idle chatting and laughter as we walked through the crowd of women in the main foyer.  Yet more posters to wet your appetite adorned the walls around us.  We walked through to the main doors leading to the big room and as we opened them the heat from the female packed room hit us!“WOW! Packed in here isn’t it!” I followed Claire to one of the side bars that shot along the wall filled with freshly wiped glasses, spirit bottles and blue flu resent lighting adding a sparkle to the cut glass and mirrors along the back wall.Claire stopped and stared.  She started to laugh and pointed to the barman.  He was dressed in jeans but with a bare chest and little black dickey bow around his neck.“How cute!” I said, eyeing several others dressed to match. They were nothing like the strippers we had come to see and it was clear it was just the regular bar staff joining in the fun... but they did look quite good.We purchased a couple of drinks, passing a few funny remarks about loosing his t-shirt to the lad serving us, then made our way to get a better view of the floor where we knew the action would be.  It was difficult with so many of us crammed in to such a small wine bar... but this was no ordinary night!

Suddenly, without warning, the lights dimmed and smoke filled the main area in front of us.Loud thumping music screeched out of the speakers and spot lights hit the back wall where four silhouette figures could be seen walking in to position….. The screams grew louder as each man in turn raised his arms and dropped them dramatically to his side!One young lady by me screamed so loud I thought my eardrum would burst!Claire looked at me and smiled then turned back to see brighter lights hit our chaps… now we could see them properly!  They swayed from side to side... all eyes focused on those bums dressed in very tight leather trousers!  They turned and jumped forward, dancing in unison to the electrifying music.They each wore a leather waistcoat which soon dropped down their arms and was cast aside… The squealing and cheering over took the music as they rubbed their hands over their chests and down over their bulge!“GET EM’ OFF!” Shouts from around the room, clapping, screaming!“What I wouldn’t do with one of those!” Claire called out to me. I grinned and stared at them as they continued to tease the crowd. “Yeah! Me too!”A couple of girls stretched out their hands to have a fondle of their beefy legs. The guys seem to enjoy that.. and kissed their hands before continuing with their routine.  The room clapped along to the beat and as the strippers turned and bent over they screamed wildly, watching their hands roll around their hindquarters and down the back of their thighs.  Slowly, teasingly they slid those leathers down.. inching them more and more to reveal the naked buttocks before whipping the trousers right off!!“YEAHHHHHH!!!!” … the women approved!Turning round… now just in thongs… they looked up and dripped baby oil down their shiny six packs! Rubbing their palms round and round over their gorgeous stomach muscles!I wanted so much to run up and rub those bodies for them!

I thought back to why I was here.  Matt had gone to a lap dancing club and kept it from me.  Thankfully the other guys aren’t such liars and told their girlfriends… only for them to then tell me!“Why do men lie?”  I asked myself… unable to offer a decent explanation.  If he’d have told me then so be it… but it’s the lying I couldn’t stand.  Maybe he didn’t want me going to see a male stripper so decided to make out he would never go to see a female lap dancer.  Maybe it’s just in men’s genes that they have to lie now and again to their partner to prove they were men!  Whatever the reasoning behind his stupidity I was enjoying my revenge!!!I was still daydreaming when a hand grabbed mine and pulled me forward.  I was standing in front of one of these HUNKS!  I could smell his aftershave… see close up the oil glistening around his well toned physique as I gazed in to his sexy eyes… now I really was in a dream world!

Bending over he expertly whisked me up and over his shoulder… the noise of the other women screaming loudly in my ears!  I felt him pat my bottom as he held me tight and walked to the centre of the room.  The other guys were gone now, probably back stage to cool off… it was just me and him… and about 150 hysterical women… all watching ME!He slid me down his body and sat me on a chair, cocking his leg over my lap as though mounting a motor bike…. THEN PLANTED A KISS RIGHT ON MY LIPS!Why do men lie to us? … They know they can never win!

(Suzanne – West Glamorgan)