BOYS WITH TOYS by Margaret Wakefield

Here’s a question for you, girls: last time you saw someone driving inconsiderately or downright dangerously, was it a man or a woman?

When I was in my early twenties, I made a living (if you could call it that) as a minicab driver in South London. I was the only woman driver on the firm so I came in for a fair amount of flack from colleagues and customers alike. Some of the teasing was good-natured and some wasn’t. One particular night I picked up four guys who made it clear they were less than thrilled to be driven by a woman; they kept making snide comments amongst themselves but nothing directly to me, so I couldn’t answer back without seeming rise to the bait, and I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. I was taking them down Fulham Palace Road which at one point had quite narrow width restrictions (still might have for all I know), and I was zipping along because my passengers were making me feel uncomfortable and I was keen drop them off. It was a route I took a dozen times a week so I knew exactly how much room there was between the width restriction bollards and even in the dark I didn’t need to slow down. But suddenly the guy in the front seat stopped talking mid-sentence, went completely rigid, and turned as near white as a West Indian can. “Are you OK?” I asked, all innocence. He just gasped a bit and said, “I thought ... I was sure you were going to smack that bollard. I didn’t think you’d seen it. You never slowed down.” At which I cracked out laughing and explained I could probably do this particular route in my sleep. Nonetheless he seemed impressed, and when they got out he said, “You drive like a man.” Which I realised was a meant as a compliment, so I took it as such, and we parted on good terms.

To him, driving like a man clearly meant having good spatial awareness and tons of confidence in your ability. To me, that’s part of being a good driver, but a more important part is attitude. I’m going to make a whopping generalisation now and say that on average, women have a better attitude simply because they tend to be less egotistic. Time and again I find myself saying, Would he behave like that if he weren’t in a car? Would he push past a queue of people waiting at checkout and elbow rudely in at the front of the queue? If a woman was walking sedately in front of him down a corridor, would he crowd her from behind, breathing down her neck and cursing her? Because in effect that’s what people do when they tailgate and flash their lights at a driver who’s observing the speed limit; or cut across lanes of traffic rather than observe correct lane discipline. I think that if you took them out of their cars, the men who act like this would be polite and charming; they’d be kind to little old ladies; they’d hold doors open for pretty girls; they’d want to make a good impression and be liked. Yet in a car, they don’t seem to care what people think of them; ego takes over, they lose touch with reality and they just have to get there first, even if there’s no particular urgency about their journey. And if they can’t, then road rage sets in, like babies having tantrums when they can’t get their own way. Talk about boys with toys ...

Women, on the other hand, generally manage to retain a more mature attitude behind the wheel. They are more compassionate, less aggressive, more prepared to make allowances, and less inclined to take risks. They don’t lose sight of the fact that inside every car is a person, and even if that person is driving slowly and getting in our way, they still deserve our respect. They are somebody’s granddad, somebody’s sister, somebody’s loved one, and we’re not entitled insult them; we’re certainly not entitled to put their personal safety at risk.

I could go on about what I think makes good drivers and bad drivers for pages, but I won’t because, I want to know your views. Do you think men lose touch with reality when they get behind the wheel, and drive as if they are playing a virtual reality computer game? Do they go into boardroom mode and see other drivers as business rivals, to be outmanoeuvred at all costs? Is excess testosterone to blame? Or do you actually think that men are better drivers than women? Email us and tell us what you think.